Time to Break Up ? look to this ways before

The road to a fulfilling, enduring relationship is almost always littered with a few attempts that turned out to be unfulfilling and unenduring. That’s what dating is all about—finding out if two people have the qualities and compatibility to sustain a relationship over the long haul.

Sometimes you know for sure when it’s time to break up. But other times you’re not so sure. Should you hang in there and give it a chance? Or should you move on so you don’t squander precious time and energy? Here are 15 indicators that, yes, it’s time to move on and seek better prospects:

. Questions keep popping up in your head. It’s natural and healthy to evaluate a relationship at critical steps, but don’t ignore those nagging concerns that are trying to tell you something.

. You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling way too soon. If you don’t feel consistent sparks and fireworks while dating, it’s a sure sign the chemistry just isn’t there.

. The people closest to you express concern. If several people sound the alarm about your relationship, it’s wise to at least take it seriously.

. Mistrust has crept in. Trust is the glue that holds couples together. If you have legitimate reason to doubt your partner’s trustworthiness, you can be sure more trouble is coming.

. You wonder about your partner’s emotional health. If your dating partner is very self-absorbed, paranoid, overly defensive, easily angered, or anything else that indicates an emotional health deficit, it’s best to move on.

. You’ve realized the two of you have missions in life that don’t mesh. Sometimes two good people simply have goals and ambitions that don’t complement each other’s.

. The two of you differ on important aspects of life. If you have significantly different perspectives on social issues, religion, politics, parenting, environmentalism, and use of finances, it’s best to find a partner whose convictions more closely align with your own.

. Your partner is holding too tightly to the past. Take note if the other person talks often about his ex, relives the glory days of past achievements, or is held back by old friends. Thriving relationships live in the present and plan for the future.

. Your communication is strained or superficial. If you and your partner struggle to have open, heartfelt communication, the relationship will surely suffer.

. You can’t resolve conflicts. In solid relationships, two people learn to manage their conflicts thoroughly and efficiently so that harmony prevails most of the time. Relationships fall apart when conflicts don’t get resolved.

. Your interests don’t interest each other. If you have five or six major interests, it’s a good idea to find someone who shares two or three of them. The more hobbies and activities you both enjoy, the stronger your relationship will be.

. You don’t feel free to be yourself. No relationship is going to reach it’s potential unless both partners are authentic. You will feel stifled and suffocated if you cannot consistently express your true self.

. The pet peeves have piled up. The way people live day in and day out (punctuality, grooming, personal habits) can be no problem or a big problem. If it’s the latter for you, don’t ignore the annoyances.

. You don’t feel 100 percent supported. If you notice that the person you’re with shows little regard for your ambitions and consistently displays a me-first attitude, you’re probably in the presence of someone more selfish than selfless.

. You notice wandering eyes. It’s natural to admire attractive people, but if you or your partner frequently “check out” others, it may be because you feel something significant is lacking in your current relationship.

Read More

Take this Quiz for know if you have an Emotional affair

A soul mate relationship is based on trust, commitment, and a strong desire to be together. Still, despite this powerful bond, it’s also true that your hearts will be stretched in countless ways. The danger, especially during challenging times, is that you may be vulnerable to having an emotional affair. This can damage trust and stop you from surrendering to the growth needed for your relationship.

What is an emotional affair?  it as when you turn to a friend or co-worker for emotional (not physical) intimacy. The seduction is that this person gives you what you feel your mate doesn’t: support, ego boosts, empathy, playfulness, an undercurrent of flirting or attraction. Initially, this can seem innocent but you may begin to share more with this “safe” person than with your mate. I understand how it can be easier to talk to someone sympathetic who’s more peripheral. You’re not wrestling with the same hot-button emotions such as anger or disappointment that can arise with a soul mate. Your dark sides aren’t engaged, which is what causes most impasses among couples.

However, if you keep sharing with your special friend and not your spouse, your primary relationship will suffer. You’ll become distant, less present, and therefore less able to resolve conflicts. Your partner will sense something is wrong. Basically, these affairs are a form of cheating, and like any infidelity can lead to deception and betrayal. In fact, research reports that about half of these “innocent” liaisons eventually turn into full blown sexual affairs. With a true platonic soul friend, there’s no deception, hidden sexual agenda, nor is anyone diverting your emotional energy from your primary relationship.

How do you know you’re having an emotional affair?

Watch for these signs:

You withdraw from your spouse but confide in your friend.

It’s difficult to talk to your spouse about conflicts.

You feel lonely and that your spouse doesn’t appreciate you.

You’re frequently online with your friend, texting, or even sexting.

You believe your friend understands you better than your spouse.

You keep your friendship a secret from your spouse or lie about how often you interact.

When you’re confronted with the emotional affair, you deny it.

If five to seven signs are present, it strongly suggests you’re having an emotional affair. Three to four signs indicate that you’re either primed to have one or you already are. One to two signs suggest the possibility of an emotional affair. Zero yeses indicate that you are not involved with one.

It takes honesty to admit you’re having an emotional affair. The first step is to recognize what’s happening. Then you have the choice to either continue the affair or decide to focus on your partner. The truth is, you can’t do both. If you choose your partner, you must surrender to doing what it takes to heal the relationship. First, this means cutting off the emotional affair. In a respectful, clear way you must tell the other person, “I can’t cyber-chat, text, meet up with you, or talk on the phone anymore. It’s not possible for us to be ‘just friends.’”

Then, openly talk to your partner about what’s causing the distance. Is it his or her long hours at work? A lingering hurt? Lack of affection? Many therapists recommend confessing your emotional affair. In most cases I agree, but how and whether you decide to do this depends on what will be most caring and helpful to your partner. At the very least, I suggest that patients lovingly communicate, “I’ve been sharing my feelings more with a friend than I have with you. This doesn’t feel right. I want us to be closer.” Or you can acknowledge that you’ve crossed a line and how far you’ve crossed it. Use your intuition as a guide for how much you want to share. But be prepared for your partner’s hurt and angry feelings. Listen without getting defensive. Then, together or with a therapist, begin to address where you’ve grown apart or shut down. Despite great pain, soul mates have what it takes to withstand difficulty until things are resolved. It may take time, awareness, and love, but with bonds as strong as these, I know it’s possible.

Read More

How to Know if You’re in Love … or Addicted to Love

There is such a thing as a love addiction where the connection between two people is more chaotic than positive but they cannot seem to separate. One person is usually self-centered and the other overly-empathic. The self-centered person comes and goes as they please, while the empathic person is stuck in an unpredictable pattern of trying to let go only to get sucked back in any time the self-centered person comes back and wants them or gives them any type of attention.

Here are 5 Signs You are Addicted to a Toxic Relationship:

1. Craving: When love is an addiction, there is a compulsive and chronic craving or pursuit of a lover in an effort to get a sense of security and worth from them. These relationships always stay true to the extremes of infatuation and heartbreak, hardly ever functioning in the middle where true intimacy can exist. It is the roller coaster ride where you no longer have control over your self-esteem, emotional stability or independence. You are always on the edge of breakdown and obsessed with every action, word, glance, or move your partner makes.

2. Infatuation: When we are in the infatuation phase we believe we have finally gained and secured the relationship, only to be horribly disappointed and empty again once the person decides they cannot commit after all. The negative consequences can be severe and yet the love addict continues to hang on to the belief that true love will fix everything. Infatuation has been proven to take over the more rational parts of the brain. People cannot understand why the nice person keeps going back, because from the outside looking in there is nothing but a toxic connection there.

3. Hope is dope: When the person you once loved and who broke your heart comes back, you get a huge sense of relief and become hopeful. You see something in that person no one else does. The rewards keep you hooked because they alleviate the pain and suffering. They make you believe they really do want you they are just “not ready” or “too scared.” These justifications are the hopeful qualities which keep you waiting.

4. Intermittent reinforcement: A lack of predictability is incredibly seductive and rewarding. Sadly, when you never know if or when you will get rewarded you go through a process of withdrawal and depression. When there is no reward you begin to give up, until that person reappears in your life — promising change and undying love. Just as you get sucked in, they disappoint again.

5. Loss of support: When you are in a toxic relationship, you often lose the respect and support from those who love you the most. At some point they cannot hear your broken record over and over again. Because nothing is stable, you are needy for advice all the time and you wear those out who will listen to you because your story never changes.

Solution: Get out. It is easier said than done, but there is no future with a person who is toxic. You will listen and believe every excuse they make which can go on for years. You have to decide how many years you want to waste on broken promises. You have to be wise, look at the reality of the pattern and dismantle the hope that keeps you believing this person will at some point change and offer you the relationship you want.

Read More

Know more about guys

Sometimes girls become confused when dealing with guys and relationships. Most of the girls would analyze a man’s personality without ending up with any conclusion. Misunderstanding your partner is the number one factor that could lead to a break up. Guys appear to be mysterious and shady, but in reality they’re not! These few interesting and weird facts might help you tolerate your boyfriend more.

Guys enjoy flirting with other girls, but at night they always think about the girl they care about the most.

Guys practice their speech before calling a girl. Sounds cute!!

Don’t talk about your ex-boyfriend or guy friends in front of your bf. Guys hate it!!!

If he’s serious about the relationship he probably loves you more than you do.

Guys like lady-likeness and femininity.

Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

Read More

Why Does He Fall for One Woman Over Another?

"He has to be 'captivated' by the total package of her...her personality, her brain, her body, her smell, her unknowable, mysterious allure...his brain has to feel he can't live without her...that she must be a part of his future!"


A man falls for a woman because of the way she makes him feel. It's different for each man, depending on his needs. A guy who feels good being in charge will respond to a more docile female, while a guy who hates making decisions will go for a bossy girl. If he needs to feel like crap, he will end up with a woman who will do him the favour of dealing him a load of it. Does he need to feel superior? He will hold out for the insecure mouse. It's about how HE feels when he's with her - if he's getting his emotional needs met, she will look, sound, and smell like a queen. 

He won't necessarily get what he deserves, but he'll get what he needs, whether he realizes it or not. Marriage works when partners recognize the emotional forces that brought them together and are both willing to work onthemselves and the union.

A man loves a woman when he reaches spiritual balance and understands the real meaning of excellence.

love is a seed and when you cultivate it you have to be watering it to prevent it from decay and also to keep it greener and strong.

Read More

Losing Weight and Getting Fit Without Dieting

Real weight loss and fitness comes from food selection not deprivation.      

The problem with calorie counting and starving is most people can’t sustain it for very long. They usually lead to quitting or binging. Any 10 pounds lost on a diet is soon regained because you haven’t really changed your permanent eating habits.

What choice do you have when you have finished your diet but to go back to your regular routine? Maybe you start cutting down on a few desserts, but you don’t really know anything else but what you were doing.

Losing weight is not about exercising it off. Very few mostly sedentary people can exercise enough to burn off a pound of fat. Most people who start exercising hard feel they need some food to reward them selves and put the pound back on.

The way to lose the pound is to have the body release the fat and not just burn it off. To burn off a pound you have to burn approximately 3300 calories. A jog is worth about 600 calories an hour, giving you the benefit of the doubt. If you jogged everyday your body would increase its metabolism which would help burn more calories.

The best way to lose weight is to eat foods that the body recognizes causing it to release the food encapsulated in fat that it did not recognize.  Most of your fat is holding onto foods that are acidic that would poison the organs if they were released. Those are the bad foods that lead to obesity, heart problems, disease, and early death.

The answer to weight loss, health and looking good is very simple. Eat the right foods and eliminate the bad foods. The only real trick is if you can get your mind to accept the regimen. Your mind has its own ideas about what you should be eating. It thinks you should be eating food to reward yourself for all the trouble and pain you experience.

The mind does not care if you eat healthy until you start eating healthy and it realizes this is a good thing. Then it will be your ally in eating the right foods and avoiding the bad ones. The mind enjoys the body having more energy, feeling healthy, and having better mental capacity.

So what do you eat?  Fruits, vegetables, lean meats, grains, seeds, nuts, eggs and good fats 85% of the time. What do you eliminate?  Sugar, white flour, processed foods, and bad fats.  It’s that easy. If you can start with 70% to 85% compliance it is a good first step. I don’t eat dairy because it usually has fats and I am mostly lactose intolerant.

If you jump into 100% compliance the fat will leave your body like rats fleeing a sinking ship. If you add an hour of exercise a day, you will certainly accelerate the process.

What can you eat?  For breakfast you can have eggs, oat meal, fruit, and meat. For lunch you can have salads, tuna, chicken, soups, and fruit. For dinner you can have meat, rice, beans, salads, soups, avocados, and wheat pasta without cream sauces.

What are you eliminating?  Mexican food, Italian food (pizzas), hamburgers, desserts, sandwiches, sweet rolls, sodas, and as much alcohol as you can live without.

But once you change, you are likely to change for life. Then the pounds you lose don’t come back. Over a period of years I have lost 45 pounds and am at my high school weight of 175. When I moved to the beach, I lost the last 25 pounds on a raw diet regimen in a few months.

You never have to starve. I eat as much as I want whenever I want, but I am basically eating foods without calories or fat. I have my desserts each day which are banana nut muffins or cacao squares which have nuts and seeds. Like most people on raw diets or sustainable healthy diets, I try to keep it at 85% but am closer to 90% plus alcohol.

*****************this article by Mark Kaplan *********************

Read More